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One of those days…
Ev Luna-Rose, 29th August 2017
So I forgot to take my medication for a couple of days because I’ve not been in my normal routine and now I’m feeling the aftermath. I woke up to having one of those days, so here’s what I’m going to focus on this morning:
1. I got out of bed.
When I feel low this is the hardest thing. It’s not about wanting to sleep all day or have the comfort of my own bed. It’s about facing the world, there are just times when I don’t want to do it. I can’t stress enough that this isn’t about laziness! I just can’t move somedays, I’m stuck. I will call in sick making up some physical illness because even though I am starting up a charity to fight and remove the stigma around mental health I’m still subject to it. When I’m low, I don’t think that my mental health is anywhere near as important as my physical health. And that’s the opposite of what I believe and know! I almost did it this morning but I’m learning to remember that if I stay in bed, I’m just with my thoughts. If I go to work, I can get myself on track to having a productive week.
2. I read the news.
I read the news most days, but I’ve noticed that when I feel low I don’t. I don’t look outwards to the world, I curl up and look inwards, scrutinising every tiny detail. Like obsessing about how my voice went a bit squeaky when I thanked the bus driver, for the entire half and hour bus ride… So I’m going to focus on my place in the world. There are bigger things out there than me, and although the news isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, it’s important to remember, you’re not alone on this planet.
3. I arranged dinner with my mum.
Now this may seem insignificant to some people; but when I feel like this, I find it really hard to make a plan and stick to it, particularly when it involves other people. Annoyingly for my friends and family I tend to say no to events and dinners and catch ups, just because it’s so much effort for me to be around people. It tires me out planning what I’m going to say, figuring out when it’s my turn to speak, overthinking about what I just said and questioning everything: “Why did they pause just then? Are they lying? Did I say something wrong?” All in the space of time that I’ve asked can you pass the pepper. It’s shattering! Especially when they have cooked you dinner and you start to think if you asking for the pepper is just an insult.
But I’m going to stick to it today, I’m going to spend time outside of myself.
But what I want to know is what have you done today worth celebrating?
#mental health #mental illness #depression #anxitey#celebrate the small things #positive thinking #speak up#speak up nottingham #fight the stigma #tiny victories“
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